Baby, It’s Warm Outside!

Happy Holidays, Live & Love in LA readers!

I have taken quite a long break from posting while redesigning my blog and making it through nursing school, so bear with me! For now, enjoy this hilarious video from last week’s Saturday Night Live episode hosted by Jimmy Fallon. My girlfriends and I were laughing out loud watching this at our big-girl sleepover this past weekend.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/baby-its-cold-outside/n44614

I hope you and your special someone have a warm, snuggly holiday! Xoxo -J

 

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9 Cheap Date Nights in Los Angeles

What girl doesn’t love date nights in LA? This city has so much to offer but many young couples run out of the funds AND ideas for a night out with their special someone in “la la land”.

Well, you’re in luck! I’m borderline obsessed with coming up with new places to see, cuisines to try, and amazing little gems to visit and take “selfies” at. I just don’t want to miss a thing! So many of my readers find my blog by searching date nights ideas in Los Angeles so I figured this will be a great piece! I’ve compiled several of my favorite things to do when my boyfriend and I have been going on one too many dates in the month and want to keep it a little low-key. Please excuse the word “cheap” in the title… I prefer the term frugal.

 

 

1. Game Night

Board games are super underrated especially when you’re old enough to drink while playing. My dear friends, Seth and Amanda, invited us over for a big group date night at their house to play trivia and chow down on a potluck dinner. The night was FULL of laugh-out-loud knee-slappin’ fun! Potlucks are huge money-savers and it costs very little to whip up a semi-homemade chocolate cake or caprese salad to contribute as your dish. If you want to up the ante and get a little more rowdy, buy the exhilarating dice game called Left, Right, Center for like $6 at Party City or Target. It costs every player only $3 per game and you can end up winning the whole pot or losing just $3. The game is so exciting that my family has made it a tradition at every holiday to get tipsy and try to take each other’s money playing LRC.

An intense game of Left, Right, Center.

2. Happy Hour

Countless bars and restaurants have fantastic happy hour prices for brews and appetizers so long as you are willing to make it an earlier night out than usual. My favorite spots for delicious discounted bites are Public School 612 in the heart of downtown LA and Dog Haus Biergarten in Old Town Pasadena. I love catching happy hours because you can still enjoy getting dolled up and dining out without the heavy bill at the end. Go to www.publicschool612.com and www.doghausdogs.com for hours and menus.

3. Night at the Museum

Almost all of our local museums in Los Angeles have one day out of the month when they waive their entrance fee. It’s just a matter of simply visiting their websites or giving them a call to find out when. Take advantage of this and get a little culture in for Free 99. LACMA is one of the most stunning museums I have visited in Los Angeles and they offer free general admission every second Tuesday of the month AND every single day after 3pm with proof of LA County residency. Bet you didn’t know that! Visit www.lacma.org for more details.

The famous lights of LACMA.

4. Date Night at Home

This does not mean sitting in front of the couch and watching TV like you do every day. Create a romantic atmosphere unlike any other night. Yes, get cheesy and light those candles if you have to! My boyfriend and I have been taking advantage of these warm summer nights and have been picking up sandwiches at our local Italian deli and taking a dip in our spa instead of our usual dinner and a movie. Dinner is normally $50+ and a movie these days for two is $40. That’s nearly a $100 night out!

Sandwiches and a $9 bottle of Lambrusco for dinner with our dogs at our feet. Can’t beat that!

5. Downtown LA Art Walk

On the second Thursday of every month, over 50 art galleries between Spring and Main in downtown open their doors to the public for late-night self-guided tours throughout Gallery Row. The Art Walk has become a must-see for Los Angelenos and it is a perfect place to take a date to swoon over incredible pieces and seem just a little more refined. Visit www.dowtownartwalk.org for FAQ.

6. First Fridays at Abbot Kinney Blvd.

In the heart of Venice on Abbot Kinney Blvd, local merchants, artist and musicians come together on the first Friday of every month and throw one huge block party for the community. Entrance fee is $0 and you can come just to grab cheap eats at the food trucks, listen to great tunes, window shop and people watch… sometimes celebrity watch. Affordable and fun! Click on www.abbotkinney1stfridays.com for more info.

7. Eat Cheap

Explore the city’s historical food-lover landmarks like Pink’s Hot Dogs in Hollywood and Philippe’s French-Dipped Sandwiches in Chinatown. Best places to fill up on a tight budget!

I tried to solve the ongoing mystery of what the correct pronunciation is, fi-leeps or fi-leep-ays. They said both!

8. Host Sushi-Making Night

Obviously, I love group dates. After all, it is important to surround yourself with loving, happy couples to contribute to the health of your own relationship. Another way to stay home and save while still keeping it fresh is hosting an interactive make-your-own-dinner soiree. It takes a bit of effort but if everyone brings one ingredient, it lessens the expense and labor of hosting a normal dinner party. You will be surprised how much fun it is to do and it’ll have your friends talking about it for weeks. Don’t forget the sake!

My boyfriend’s business associate threw a fabulous make your own pizza party.

What a way to impress your friends by making them homemade pasta right in your kitchen! It’s simple, too!

9. Invite Yourself Over Your Friend’s Awesome Pad.

Bring a bottle of wine, of course. There’s nothing worse than friends who invite themselves over empty-handed! But ask your friends who have great entertaining houses if you can come over for a little backyard BBQ. Most people are more than willing to have you over but just never get around to planning something. Last minute, spontaneous get-togethers are the most fun.

The view of my boyfriend’s business associate’s gorgeous home in Huntington Harbor.

A boat ride around our friend’s front yard (Huntington Harbor). One of our most memorable date nights.

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How to Stay Financially Fit in Your 20s– 8 Helpful Tips

One weekly date I always look forward to is with my favorite bubbly bank teller, Jeniffer. Yes, one N and two Fs. I have become that customer who strategically falls in line at just the right moment to try and make my deposits with her while we briefly catch up on girl talk. Jen loves to read Live & Love in L.A. and suggested I write a post about how I stay financially secure at a young(ish) age. She went on to tell me she does not see many girls my age having a weekly appointment to stash cash in their savings and had me convinced this topic would be a hot one! So, this one’s for you, J.

I have been told many times over that I have somewhat of an old soul. I would agree I am not your typical 24-year-old girl wanting to rage every weekend and shop ‘til I drop. I guess it’s because I started everything early; I threw big “kegger” parties in high school while my parents were out of town, went out in Hollywood with my older sister’s ID since I was 18, and foolishly spent a ton of money on God-knows-what when I was making more cash than I knew what to do with as a 19-year-old waitress at Hooters. As crazy as it all sounds, I don’t regret any of it because all of that experience of “getting it out of my system” has brought me to where I am today. Now, there’s nothing I enjoy more than intimate evenings with great friends listening to Tchaikovsky classics at the Hollywood Bowl and staying home on Friday nights cuddling with my English Bulldog—a far cry from my Hooters Girl days! More importantly, one of my main priorities now is staying financially fit! Along with relationship advice, my girlfriends turn to me for money-saving tips and tricks knowing I’m a Suze Orman believer and avid follower.

Here’s a short list of my secrets to financial fitness!

1. Use plastic wisely. Thank God my parents taught me from day one to always, always pay off my credit cards in full every month. Credit cards should STRICTLY be used to build good credit for future major purchases like cars, homes, etc. and NOT to pay off that pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes over six months. How does paying interest on any shopping impulse make any sense? I only buy things I know I currently have money for in my Checking account that will definitely be paid off in full. Get out of the mentality that it’s nice to pay little by little because that small amount becomes a lot with interest and one penny over retail price is too much!

2. Get out of debt and stay out. Aside from school, car and home loans, there’s virtually no reason you should have debt in your 20s. Every dollar not being used for rent or food should be going towards your debt. Paying off the minimum balance due will keep you constantly treading water. Pay off hundreds of dollars at a time. If that means not going out that entire month, deal with it!

3. Live within your means. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses, or now the Kardashians when you make a teeeeeny tiny fraction of their income. For trendy clothes, there are so many discount or vintage boutiques that can give you a very similar look of the stars for a modest price tag. As long as you rock it with confidence, I’ll bet no one could really tell the difference. The Louboutin red-bottoms, Hermes handbags, Michael Kors watches—it’s all just STUFF! Unlike Miss Carrie Bradshaw, I like my money in the bank and NOT hanging in my closet.

4. Do your research. The world of financing can be overwhelming so read books and ask questions. My favorite finance guru is the tell-it-like-it-is author Suze Orman and I stand by all her advice wholeheartedly.

5. Have multiple streams of income. Aside from your 9:00 to 5:00, find something you can do on the side that generates supplemental income. Most people in their 20s have the energy and time to juggle all sorts of responsibilities with no excuses. Find something you truly love to do since it’ll be a commitment in addition to your career; blogging, bartending, babysitting, dog walking, selling clothes/accessories online are all things you can do on your down time.

6. Work smarter, not harder. Try to find jobs that allow you to make extra commission or tips. I cannot tell young guys and girls enough how much of a blessing bartending has been while I’m going through registered nursing school. I get so many inquiries about how to get into the industry when they realize bartenders can work three nights a week and make just as much as full-time employees at corporate offices. If you don’t have interest in serving up cocktails for rowdy crowds, there’s a plethora of side jobs out there just as lucrative and fit for young workers. Think outside of the box.

7. Save! Save! Save! It’s never too early to save for a down payment on your dream condo or house, future kids’ expenses and retirement. Set aside a realistic amount of your paycheck every month and commit to putting it away. If you ever get a big chunk of change like tax refunds, put it in the bank and don’t look back. Having the discipline is much harder than I’m making it sound but sometimes you just have to quit things cold turkey. Drop unnecessary spending like a bad habit! If you don’t trust yourself to be strict with your money, look into direct deposit of a portion of your paycheck into a 401k through your job’s payroll provider.

8. Invisible saving is key. Whatever you put into the Savings account should not be considered when making everyday purchases. Stay in the mindset where that money is untouchable and if you have to, save in a Credit Union account where it’s an elaborate, inconvenient process to withdraw money and may even take days to process.

We can all agree the cost of living in Los Angeles is astronomical, but there are so many other reasons why having financial independence is essential in your 20s. Specifically for my mostly female ages 20-30 blog readers, I wanted to touch on how empowering it is to be financially secure on your own. Our society is breeding us into women whose life goal is to marry a rich, good looking doctor and we’ll be set for life—because there are SO many young, successful white-collar professionals just running around Los Angeles searching for one nice girl to shower with gifts and be faithful to forever and ever (hint: sarcasm). Let’s face it, a lot of incredibly awesome guys we date are working hard for average incomes and that’s okay! If we change our way of thinking and shift our focus to our own success and wealth, we will no longer let money be such a huge make-or-break factor in choosing Mr. Right.

The best relationship is finding someone who COMPLEMENTS you, not completes you.

Wanna Get Away?

My new Steve Madden tote ($70) and Kenneth Cole luggage ($120) from Nordstrom Rack. Prices are a steal for quality luggage!

I have a love/hate relationship with the fast-paced lifestyle in Los Angeles. I find myself getting biweekly massages or acupuncture treatments just to de-stress from all the chaos that is my life. Our generation, in particular, has some of the most ambitious, busy people and living in the hustle-and-bustle of L.A. just adds to the madness. We get caught up in our busy routines day-in and day-out and we sometimes just need to stop and smell the roses—or in my case, the plumerias in Hawaii.

I’ve always been a firm believer in pursuing everything you are undeniably passionate about. Life is too short to look back and say, “I wonder what would have happened if I just tried _______?” I can attribute this mentality to my very supportive parents who always reminded me that I can truly accomplish anything with passion and hard work. Let’s just say, I took them very seriously. I’m currently in school to become a registered nurse to hopefully work in ER or Pediatrics, I co-own a bartending service that is thriving after three years of blood, sweat and tears, AND I bartend in the city two days a week because I just love being behind the bar, creating cocktails and interacting with bar crowds. I also have three dogs to take care of who are the world’s most spoiled furry babies ever! And last but not least, I write Live & Love in L.A. Gosh, just reading that makes me exhausted and even though I love doing all these things, I desperately needed a vacation from the hectic schedule.

The past month has been especially stressful with our 15-year-old pit bull needing emergency surgery, searching for a new house in LA, juggling events for my bartending company, interviewing for a We TV reality show whose casting company loved my blog and wants to document the dating lives of me and my single girlfriends (fingers crossed), dealing with crazy people (but don’t we all?) and other little hiccups along the way. It started to feel like if one more thing was put on my already full plate, my head would have exploded into millions of tiny pieces!

In order to prevent the nervous breakdown I felt brewing, I knew I had to put my responsibilities on a brief pause and escape into my ultimate favorite thing to do—travel! There’s almost nothing that can compare to the thrill of discovering new places, indulging in new cuisine and meeting interesting, new people in a foreign land. Other than education, there’s no better investment in oneself than exploring this big, fascinating world. It blows my mind to think how differently the rest of the world lives and thinks and I’m so eager to learn all about it.

Last summer, I was fortunate enough to travel along the Mediterranean with my family and my boyfriend and experienced the best of Italy, Greece & Turkey. Visiting The Parthenon, Pompeii, Vatican City, the ruins in Ephesus and the astounding city of Oia in Santorini were moments I won’t ever forget as I only read about these magical places in textbooks—and there I was, in the flesh. Being there first-hand and taking in all that history were some of the richest moments of my life. I call them “snapshot moments” when I’m looking at something in awe and silently tell myself, “Don’t forget this exact moment—how it looks and how it makes you feel”.

Top: Santorini, Greece. Left: Ephesus, Turkey. Right: Capri, Italy.

This summer, I knew I couldn’t travel too far or too long being that I was so busy with everything at home so I decided to make sure my big annual trip included a little bit of ALL my favorite things.

Last Friday, my cousins and my sister picked me up for a fun girls’ weekend to a very familiar destination, Las Vegas! We spent the short weekend catching up with each other, reuniting with some of our family out there, and dancing until the wee hours of the morning in Sin City’s hottest nightclubs. There’s something about an all-girls-no-boys-allowed bonding trip that brings out your inner teenager excited to have a sleepover and talk about boys. Only now, boys are just a small portion of our conversations and instead of just being school-girl friends, I’m reminded I have a solid group of sisters that are strong, smart women who uplift me and make me a better person. It’s rare to have that kind of circle of friends living in L.A. Finding a non-catty, drama-free group of career-driven girlfriends who genuinely have your best interest at heart is just as hard to find as Mr. Right. I’m forever grateful.

Speaking of Mr. Right, my summer wouldn’t be complete without a few sexy getaways with my gorgeous boyfriend, Nathan. Being as he is a very hands-on business owner, stress is something he is also all too familiar with. Luckily, we’re both pretty good about “leaving work at work” but we can admit when it’s time to decompress and get away from it all! By the time we left for Maui, the day after I got back from Vegas, a vacation for us was long overdue! Nate surprised me with plane tickets to Hawaii on my birthday and we’ve been counting down the days until departure. We left our dogs with our parents, took time off work, and just indulged in the island of Maui. We snorkeled face-to-face with giant sea turtles, got wrapped around by a school of hundreds of fish, went ziplining 800 feet in the air above the most lush valleys, had the best crab & lobster stuffed mahi-mahi at the exquisite Mama’s Fish House, made the long drive to and from Hana, and even made it all the way up to the famous Haleakala Crater to watch the sunrise. And if all that wasn’t the definition of a fantastic summer, I took advantage of awesome Groupon deals to Palm Springs so we could sneak away for a couple one-nighter “staycations” since it’s so close by.

On top of the clouds watching the sun rise at Haleakala Crater.

Seven Sacred Pools in Hana.

In front of our favorite restaurant in Paia, Mama’s Fish House.

Magnificent waterfall on the road to Hana.

Shopping for souvenirs, specifically a “Spam” T-shirt for Seth, on Front St. in Lahaina.

The last couple of days of recovery from my whirlwind vacations have been so relaxing. I feel physically and emotionally reenergized to take on the world! Okay, maybe not that extreme—but I do feel refreshed. I’m back on the grind of my daily duties with a little more enthusiasm than before.

If you find yourself in a similar position and in need of a little pick-me-up, why not go to your dream destination? Now let’s be realistic, we can’t close our eyes, pick a spot on the map, grab cash off the money tree in the backyard and take off. So plan ahead and save ahead. If you can stash away your big tax return check or just save $100/month for a year, you can afford to take a pretty great vacation.

Summer vacation essentials: bikinis, bikinis, bikinis!

Don’t get stuck in Los Angeles your whole life. As much as I love this city, there’s a big world out there just waiting to be explored. The inner globe-trotting goddess in you is wanting to get away and waiting to exhale.

Safe travels! XOXO.

Ready for another Live & Love in LA Readers Hookup? Beauty Stop Online is my new favorite one-stop shop for all things beauty. My favorite essentials, as many of you know, are my faux eyelashes for added drama and bright, flirty nail colors for summer! www.BeautyStopOnline.com has all that and much more! I love this site because it’s as though I can think up virtually any beauty product, and they have something of great quality for you. Enter the coupon code “LiveLoveLA” and receive 15% off your first order. How awesome is that?! Thanks for the major hookup, B.S.O.

The Last Love

I saw this video on Facebook this morning and wanted to share it with you readers! Albeit super cheesy, it gives us hope that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how many failed romances you’ve been through, you will find someone to be your last love– the one that really counts.

Snooping Through His Cell

It starts with a genuine curiosity or a slight inclination of dishonesty. The temptation to snoop through your guy’s cell phone is undeniably overwhelming when he leaves for work and forgets it on the kitchen counter or for some brave souls, just the few short minutes he’s on the porcelain throne.

It seems as though every that-asshole-cheated-on-me story starts with, “So, I was going through his _____.” Text messages, e-mail accounts, Facebook pages—none are off limits to a woman on a mission to find dirt on a guy. Then and only then do women give each other the subtle nod of understanding that silently admits I’ve been there. Snooping is this dirty little not-so-secret of ours that we know is morally wrong and totally embarrassing to admit to. However, the behavior is reinforced when we indeed find incriminating evidence justifying the detective work.

But before you go play Secret Agent (insert your name here), consider these reasons why going through your boyfriend’s cell phone is NOT such a good idea after all.

Respect Privacy. Having anyone go through your cell phone is a dreadful thought; it makes you feel naked and exposed. No matter how many years you’ve been together, everyone needs a bit of privacy.

If you feel guilty, it’s wrong. I’m a big believer while you are in a relationship, you shouldn’t do things you wouldn’t do in front of your partner. Going through your guy’s phone involves extensive planning on where to do it, how much time you have until he gets back, backtracking when you’re done to make it look untouched… One word: ANXIETY. If you feel uneasy, sneaky and ironically dishonest snooping, you probably should not be doing it.

Your perception becomes your reality. Text messages, in particular, are too often misconstrued; those darn winky faces are so vague! While playing detective, you’re already in the mindset that there is something to find so you are bound to take things out of context and think up an elaborate story as to why it is definitely cheating when it can be a truly harmless conversation you did not fully read or understand. After he explains that Samantha, the winky face sender, is his 12-year-old sister, you’ll feel this small *as I squint my eye through the tiny slit between my thumb and index finger*

It weakens your foundation. Trust is a major factor in a healthy, happy relationship. Duh. But while you think going through his phone to make sure you can trust him is the right move, you are setting the tone for the type of relationship you will have with him—untrusting. He will most likely find out, get mad, go through your phone, hide his, etc. Snooping is just the beginning of a serious downward spiral to the demise of your relationship. If you can’t take his word for it, you’ve got some reevaluating–not FBI work– to do.

You will get caught or tell on yourself by confronting him—either way, it’s not cute. No matter how hot you are, getting caught with your man’s iPhone in hand is not a good look. All men and women have insecurities but for some reason, seeing it on your partner is a major turn-off. No one can pull off the psycho girlfriend look very well.

It’s counterproductive to building good communication. This post isn’t encouraging turning a blind eye to valid suspicions, but initiating an open and honest conversation about the issue is a healthier solution. Having a candid discussion with your partner about something that isn’t sitting well with you or even blatantly stating your temptation to go through his phone will be received much better than telling him after you already did it. Surprisingly, a lot of problems in any relationship are caused by lack of communication. Your guy will appreciate your maturity and may even show you his phone willingly.

Honesty is the best policy. After I had been with my current boyfriend for a few months, I felt I had to disclose to him my past experiences with my last ex being dishonest and sneaky. I told him that cheating and lying are my big deal-breakers and all he did was grab a pen and paper. As he was writing, he told me he never wanted me to feel that way while being with him and handed me the password that accesses every account he has. I looked at him in shock, smiled and did the same for him. Since then, neither of us ever feel the need to snoop knowing we’re both an open book. People will sometimes surprise you when you open up and make yourself a bit vulnerable. You might just find out they want the exact same thing.

The truth always comes out. Rest assured knowing cheaters always get caught without you having to waste time trying to catch them yourself.

This topic takes me back to one of my high school teachers, Mrs. Luce, asking the class (and I don’t even remember in what context), “Is ignorance bliss or is knowledge power?” The question stopped me in my tracks being so complex for my then boys-and-cheerleading-focused brain, and searching for the answer to this question still sticks with me today.

I think it’s fair to say I can’t fully commit to either statement. There are occasions when some things are better left unsaid in a relationship and other times when you have a right to be in the know of what’s going on. Unfortunately for our generation, dating in the social media/digital communication era does not come with a handbook. There is no black-and-white formula that works for every couple. So I’ll leave you in saying I believe ignorance is bliss when you are with someone who willingly gives you the power of knowledge.

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Tipsy Tuesdays: Best Cocktails in Los Angeles

Single girls in Los Angeles can agree that the longest and best relationship we’ve had is our love affair with cocktails. Sad, I know. We have laughed and cried with them, swore them off forever after a rough night, and always end up crawling back to feel it kiss our lips just once more.

With Mixology bars being the cool kids in school right now, Los Angeles hot spots are competing to have the biggest ice cubes, craziest ingredients, and spiciest chili salt rims for their crafted cocktails… and I’m a kid in a candy store trying them all on for size.

What the hell is “Mixology”, you ask? One heck of a fancy word for what’s going on in the head of a bartender who knows their sh*t. No artificial flavors. No pre-packaged mixers. No disgusting AMFs. It’s the art (and to some, a science) of creating a perfectly well-balanced drink with fresh ingredients.  Basically, it’s thinking outside the box while emulating pre-prohibition simplicity.

So, where’s the best place to down some liquid courage on a first date or a late-night rendezvous with your special someone? Here’s a list of my favorite places to enjoy the most luscious libations.

Cheers! Salud! L’Chayyim! –Or whatever you say before you get wasted.

 

 

1. Red O Restaurant

8155 Melrose Ave.

Los Angeles, CA. 90046

323.655.5009

My boyfriend and I took our friend, Mauro, visiting from Italy to our favorite restaurant– RED O! My Favorites: La Dama Cocktail and Mojito Trio

 

 

2. Ray’s & Stark Bar at LACMA

5905 Wilshire Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA. 90036

323.857.6180

My Favorite: Owl & The Pussycat Cocktail

 

Come for the famous cocktails & Stanley Kubrick exhibit, stay for the delicious cuisine. Enjoy the huge slabs of crispy pork belly and a generous portion of the squid ink pasta. You won’t regret it.

 

 

 

3. 1886 Bar at the Raymond Restaurant

1250 S. Fair Oaks Ave.

Pasadena, CA. 91105

626.441.3136

My Favorite: The Bank Heist Cocktail. Tell the master mixologist, Brady Weise, I sent you and he’ll carefully craft a little taste of perfection for you.

 

 

 

4. Rivera

1050 S. Flower St. Suite 102

Los Angeles, CA. 90015

213.749.1460

The famous (and my favorite) Barbacoa cocktail garnished with smoky beef jerky.

A small glimpse into the innovative cocktail menu at Rivera

Because only highlighting their drinks would be sinful. Mussels swimming in amarillo butter.

Stuffed Peppers. Insane.

No caption necessary.

 

 

 

5. The Tap Room at the Langham Huntington Hotel

1401 S. Oak Knoll Ave.

Pasadena, CA. 91106

626.568.3900

The Langham Huntington Lobby

The Tap Room

Best place to get a well done classic cocktail. My favorite: Pimm’s Cup.

 

 

 

6. Public School 310

9411 Culver Blvd.

Culver City, CA. 90232

310.558.0414

My favorite: Moscow Mules served in copper mugs. #proper

 

 

 

7. Trattoria Neapolis

336 S. Lake Ave.

Pasadena, CA. 91101

626.792.3000

Ken, the bar manager, makes a mean Old Fashioned.

My Favorite: Proper Whiskey Sours shaken with an egg white for a frothy cocktail.

Grab a quick bite with your cocktail. One of the best octopus dishes I’ve ever had.

 

Can’t get enough of Live & Love in LA’s date night suggestions? Stay tuned for more Tipsy Tuesdays and Foodie Fridays features to come! But here’s a great website to hold you over until then…

Giftioni has the ultimate date night discounts for all you lovebirds. If you’re stumped on how to wow your main squeeze for their birthday or what to do for an anniversary, click on www.giftioni.com and browse through tons of unique gift packages that do all the special planning for you. You can surprise your fashionista girlfriend by revamping her wardrobe with her own personal stylist or even rent a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder for your car-fanatic beau and cruise the coast of Malibu for a day. Now that’s no boring dinner-and-a-movie date night! The cherry on top to sweeten the deal? Enter the coupon code “livelovela” at checkout and receive $15 off your gift! Offer expires June 17th.

A blog that answers all your dating dilemmas AND saves you $$$– does it get better than that? 😉

The Ex Collection

Whenever I visit my old room at my parents’ house I rummage through my bedroom drawers to take more and more clothes over to my new home with my boyfriend, Nathan. This afternoon, I came across my bottom drawer which I like to call “the ex boyfriend drawer”. I think a lot of girls have the same weird private collection of old memories from past relationships including pictures, birthday cards, concert tickets and movie stubs. Why do I keep all these things to remind myself of failure and heartbreak? I have no idea. But it’s just there… and has been for years.

I believe a part of me wanted to hold on to these things to remind myself of the good times with my exes. After a constant pattern of break-ups, I thought my dating life would always be tumultuous and unpredictable so why not hold on to the happy moments I once shared with these guys? It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend that I felt I found someone worth throwing my past away– literally and figuratively.  Well, except the jewelry.

My “Ex Collection” of jewelry from Tiffany & Co.

I still don’t know what to do with these nice rings/bracelets/necklaces as I would never wear them again—Can you imagine how my boyfriend would feel about me sporting a diamond promise ring from an ex?! But they do hold value and it would be foolish to just toss it out! I’m torn between keeping it for my future daughters to play with and selling them online on http://www.ExBoyfriendJewelry.com. I got a big kick out of watching a news segment on ABC’s Nightline which featured online websites dedicated for girls to sell jewelry from their exes. Genius idea!

The place that makes heartbreak a little less painful.

It took me having to find someone I couldn’t even dream up to let go of my past. I can’t even say Nate is the man of my dreams because after years of dating in Los Angeles, I couldn’t imagine that guys like him (honest, loyal AND kind) even existed. Our relationship is not perfect by any means but I am able to speak so highly of him in my blog because of what being with him has taught me; that I deserve the best. Not only being treated the best by a man but treating myself with high regard. He inspired me to confront the fears and insecurities that resulted from failed relationships in order to be emancipated from the burden of always expecting the worst from men. Before I made the decision to let it all go, I was a prisoner of my past.

My only regret is that I did not realize this sooner and on my own. I allowed myself to not only hold on to physical things but the emotional pain from my past. Although I’m glad it finally happened, I wish it didn’t take me having to find a great guy to realize my worth. My hope for my readers, single and taken, is that this post gives you the courage to throw it all away, the emotional and physical baggage in your ex boyfriend drawer— except the jewelry! 😉

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdickert/2372131488/”>ilovebutter</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/skarpetka_/3321961367/”>skarpetka86</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

To Sext or Not To Sext

Dating in the digital era requires decoding hidden meanings behind vague text messages, confusing emoticons and pictures… naughty pictures. I knew sexting (sexy texting) was officially going viral when my favorite news show, ABC’s Nightline did a whole segment entitled “Selfie Nation”. Having instant cameras on our smart phones enables us to snap self portraits on any given good hair/feeling skinny/flawless face day. So, what do we do with these pictures? Well, if it’s a bit too much cleavage for your Instagram friends, you do the next best thing. Show it off to your special someone. We all do it because we like to feel sexy and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But controlling our photos’ circulation, now that’s a big deal.

We’ve all had those cringe worthy moments while showing a friend a picture on our iPhone and they continue swiping away left and right through your album. You try your best to politely snag your phone back before they see any X-rated photos of you or your partner—barely dodging that potentially incredibly embarrassing “Wanna get away?” moment.

Here a few tips to safe and SMART sexy texting.

Know your audience. If you even have to question whether or not the recipient will show someone else, don’t do it.  Sexy photos should not be used as a tool to reel in the new guy you’re interested in. If you don’t know and trust him 100%, step away from the cell phone. My boyfriend and I were watching TV when a group text message came up from his buddy showing all their friends a picture of a girl… and let’s just say, I’m sure she didn’t want it leaked. This shit really happens. #dirtbag

Boyfriends and Husbands Only. I asked my guy friend who is a total ladies man what his thoughts were regarding receiving nude photos from women. I was surprised he agreed with me that it should be reserved for serious relationships. There’s just so much that can go wrong when your photos are in the hands of the wrong guy. He added that he can’t help but instantly categorize those girls in the “just for fun” group and definitely not wifey material. As much as guys love seeing your sexy side later on, they like to get to know the nice girl first. Basically, show them the lady in the streets before the freak in the sheets.

Be aware of the repercussions. As the famous saying goes, “There is a fine line between love and hate.” A change of heart can sometimes breed contempt. Just because you decide to get rid of the jerk doesn’t mean there’s a delete button for your digital footprints. Naked photos are the ultimate blackmail. There are disgusting websites solely dedicated to scorned exes exposing girls’ private photos. Maybe I’ve watched too many Dateline NBC specials but your X-rated “selfies” can literally ruin your life. Yeah, that dramatic!

Right Timing. Besides waiting for the right time in a relationship to send implied pictures, you also want to be cautious of the actual time in the day you send these. Avoid sending during the recipient’s work or social hours. Cell phones are carelessly left around the office or forgotten at the bar during happy hour.

The No Face Rule. If you insist on snapping risqué shots of your hot bod, consider making sure it’s not easily identifiable—neck down.

Mild Sexting is A-OK. There’s a happy medium between prude and vulgar. You can send a sultry eyed snapshot without exposing the goods to keep your new guy wanting more.

The Will & Jada Way. One of my favorite moments on The Oprah Winfrey Show was when Jada Pinkett and Will Smith said the secret to keeping their marriage hot is sending sexy photos to each other. Some married couple are so hush-hush about their sex lives so I loved that a highly admired power couple came out and said that’s what gets their blood flowin’. It’s completely normal to get caught up in daily routines with the house and the kids. But what better way to throw a fun curve ball than sending your hubby a little cell phone surprise?

Must Be 18 & Over. Last but not least, if you are not considered a consenting adult in California, you have no business sexting naked photos. Seriously. As much as you think your 16-year-old boyfriend loves you, he will most definitely share it with his buddies and is capable of doing even worse if or when you break up. My campaign: Kids, just say NO to sexting!

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomkershaw/5388524011/”>Tom Kershaw</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/gatom0g/3487475427/”>gatom0g</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

The Wedding Date

I had the privilege of being a “plus one” to an intimate Los Angeles ranch wedding last night. The early evening lighting was picture perfect, the deep love of a beautiful bride & groom in the air, and the drinks were flowing with a handsome man by my side— how much better can a date night get?

I was inspired to write this post because I’ve attended many weddings in this city as the wedding date. Being asked by your guy to accompany him to a friend or family member’s wedding is kind of a big deal. Most bachelors who are casually dating without a special someone would rather go stag and scope out the cute bridesmaids. The commitment-phobia guys are the number one offenders of dateless weddings. They like to avoid taking girls to weddings because all single girls—yes, all—are inevitably fantasizing of their own dream wedding to come. There’s nothing scarier to a label-fearing guy than the girl he’s sleeping with suddenly struck with wedding fever!

So, here are a few wedding etiquette tips to help you get ready to attend as your man’s special lady and +1.

 

DO show enthusiasm and appreciation for the invitation from your guy in a newer relationship. Inviting someone to a wedding during the early stages of a relationship takes a bit of courage.

DON’T leave him hanging. A wedding is an event with a required RSVP for a reason, not just for him but for the marrying couple. Being a no-show to a price-per-plate dinner is tacky.

DO help him pick out the wedding gift. Most guys need a little direction when navigating through Crate & Barrel’s gift registry. And yes, always shop specific to the registry.

DO have fun getting ready together. Weddings are like proms for adults. It’s just so much fun to get your hair done, finally wear the special occasion dress hanging in your closet, and maybe put together a subtle match of colors with your date.

My wedding date and I decided to make a fun day of getting ready! First, I had to take him to one of my favorite stylists to tame his mane.

Then we had a nice, quiet lunch at the delicious Italian eatery, Mi Piace in Pasadena. We even caught a magic show on the sidewalk afterwards!

…And we’re off!

DON’T wear a white dress. This one’s a no-brainer. I hesitate to even wear beige. White is for the bride ONLY.

DO wear waterproof mascara. Watching couples exchange nuptials gets me every time.

DON’T overdo it. Dress for a wedding as if you were having dinner with Oprah. You don’t want his friends whispering about your cleavage—think flowy and sweet. Modest dress + statement necklace= golden.

DO come prepared to answer the “Are you guys next?” question. When you get to a certain age and have been together for enough time, people are naturally curious when you’ll take the next step. Keep your responses brief, optimistic, and light-hearted. Now is not the time to pour your heart out and tell guests how long you’ve been waiting for him to pop the damn question already!

DO bring cash to tip the bartender! Many weddings have an open bar with complimentary drinks but make sure you’re carrying enough change to take care of your server.

DON’T get wasted if you’re the plus one and you’re not too familiar with his group of friends yet. Save yourself and your date the embarrassment.

DO become familiar with formal place settings prior to the wedding. The trick to all those utensils? Work from the outside inward. And your bread plate is always to your left. Also, holding your fancy glass from the stem is considered the proper way to drink.

DO mingle with strangers at your assigned dinner table. You want your date to be confident in choosing a social, friendly gal as his date.

DON’T worry about that weird superstition where it’s bad luck to say, “Best wishes” to the groom and “Congratulations” to the bride. Showing happiness and well wishes is always appreciated– no matter how it’s said.

CHEESE!

DO take lots of photos. I grew up in a family where home videos and family photos are cherished. Life is not only too short but too beautiful to not capture.

DO enjoy being in the presence of true love.

 

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LOVE, JOYCE