Tag Archives: Los Angeles

Baby, It’s Warm Outside!

23 Dec

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Happy Holidays, Live & Love in LA readers!

I have taken quite a long break from posting while redesigning my blog and making it through nursing school, so bear with me! For now, enjoy this hilarious video from last week’s Saturday Night Live episode hosted by Jimmy Fallon. My girlfriends and I were laughing out loud watching this at our big-girl sleepover this past weekend.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/baby-its-cold-outside/n44614

I hope you and your special someone have a warm, snuggly holiday! Xoxo -J

 

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The Last Love

9 Jul

I saw this video on Facebook this morning and wanted to share it with you readers! Albeit super cheesy, it gives us hope that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. No matter how many failed romances you’ve been through, you will find someone to be your last love– the one that really counts.

Snooping Through His Cell

13 Jun

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It starts with a genuine curiosity or a slight inclination of dishonesty. The temptation to snoop through your guy’s cell phone is undeniably overwhelming when he leaves for work and forgets it on the kitchen counter or for some brave souls, just the few short minutes he’s on the porcelain throne.

It seems as though every that-asshole-cheated-on-me story starts with, “So, I was going through his _____.” Text messages, e-mail accounts, Facebook pages—none are off limits to a woman on a mission to find dirt on a guy. Then and only then do women give each other the subtle nod of understanding that silently admits I’ve been there. Snooping is this dirty little not-so-secret of ours that we know is morally wrong and totally embarrassing to admit to. However, the behavior is reinforced when we indeed find incriminating evidence justifying the detective work.

But before you go play Secret Agent (insert your name here), consider these reasons why going through your boyfriend’s cell phone is NOT such a good idea after all.

Respect Privacy. Having anyone go through your cell phone is a dreadful thought; it makes you feel naked and exposed. No matter how many years you’ve been together, everyone needs a bit of privacy.

If you feel guilty, it’s wrong. I’m a big believer while you are in a relationship, you shouldn’t do things you wouldn’t do in front of your partner. Going through your guy’s phone involves extensive planning on where to do it, how much time you have until he gets back, backtracking when you’re done to make it look untouched… One word: ANXIETY. If you feel uneasy, sneaky and ironically dishonest snooping, you probably should not be doing it.

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Your perception becomes your reality. Text messages, in particular, are too often misconstrued; those darn winky faces are so vague! While playing detective, you’re already in the mindset that there is something to find so you are bound to take things out of context and think up an elaborate story as to why it is definitely cheating when it can be a truly harmless conversation you did not fully read or understand. After he explains that Samantha, the winky face sender, is his 12-year-old sister, you’ll feel this small *as I squint my eye through the tiny slit between my thumb and index finger*

It weakens your foundation. Trust is a major factor in a healthy, happy relationship. Duh. But while you think going through his phone to make sure you can trust him is the right move, you are setting the tone for the type of relationship you will have with him—untrusting. He will most likely find out, get mad, go through your phone, hide his, etc. Snooping is just the beginning of a serious downward spiral to the demise of your relationship. If you can’t take his word for it, you’ve got some reevaluating–not FBI work– to do.

You will get caught or tell on yourself by confronting him—either way, it’s not cute. No matter how hot you are, getting caught with your man’s iPhone in hand is not a good look. All men and women have insecurities but for some reason, seeing it on your partner is a major turn-off. No one can pull off the psycho girlfriend look very well.

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It’s counterproductive to building good communication. This post isn’t encouraging turning a blind eye to valid suspicions, but initiating an open and honest conversation about the issue is a healthier solution. Having a candid discussion with your partner about something that isn’t sitting well with you or even blatantly stating your temptation to go through his phone will be received much better than telling him after you already did it. Surprisingly, a lot of problems in any relationship are caused by lack of communication. Your guy will appreciate your maturity and may even show you his phone willingly.

Honesty is the best policy. After I had been with my current boyfriend for a few months, I felt I had to disclose to him my past experiences with my last ex being dishonest and sneaky. I told him that cheating and lying are my big deal-breakers and all he did was grab a pen and paper. As he was writing, he told me he never wanted me to feel that way while being with him and handed me the password that accesses every account he has. I looked at him in shock, smiled and did the same for him. Since then, neither of us ever feel the need to snoop knowing we’re both an open book. People will sometimes surprise you when you open up and make yourself a bit vulnerable. You might just find out they want the exact same thing.

The truth always comes out. Rest assured knowing cheaters always get caught without you having to waste time trying to catch them yourself.

This topic takes me back to one of my high school teachers, Mrs. Luce, asking the class (and I don’t even remember in what context), “Is ignorance bliss or is knowledge power?” The question stopped me in my tracks being so complex for my then boys-and-cheerleading-focused brain, and searching for the answer to this question still sticks with me today.

I think it’s fair to say I can’t fully commit to either statement. There are occasions when some things are better left unsaid in a relationship and other times when you have a right to be in the know of what’s going on. Unfortunately for our generation, dating in the social media/digital communication era does not come with a handbook. There is no black-and-white formula that works for every couple. So I’ll leave you in saying I believe ignorance is bliss when you are with someone who willingly gives you the power of knowledge.

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To Sext or Not To Sext

27 Apr

Dating in the digital era requires decoding hidden meanings behind vague text messages, confusing emoticons and pictures… naughty pictures. I knew sexting (sexy texting) was officially going viral when my favorite news show, ABC’s Nightline did a whole segment entitled “Selfie Nation”. Having instant cameras on our smart phones enables us to snap self portraits on any given good hair/feeling skinny/flawless face day. So, what do we do with these pictures? Well, if it’s a bit too much cleavage for your Instagram friends, you do the next best thing. Show it off to your special someone. We all do it because we like to feel sexy and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But controlling our photos’ circulation, now that’s a big deal.

We’ve all had those cringe worthy moments while showing a friend a picture on our iPhone and they continue swiping away left and right through your album. You try your best to politely snag your phone back before they see any X-rated photos of you or your partner—barely dodging that potentially incredibly embarrassing “Wanna get away?” moment.

Here a few tips to safe and SMART sexy texting.

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Know your audience. If you even have to question whether or not the recipient will show someone else, don’t do it.  Sexy photos should not be used as a tool to reel in the new guy you’re interested in. If you don’t know and trust him 100%, step away from the cell phone. My boyfriend and I were watching TV when a group text message came up from his buddy showing all their friends a picture of a girl… and let’s just say, I’m sure she didn’t want it leaked. This shit really happens. #dirtbag

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Boyfriends and Husbands Only. I asked my guy friend who is a total ladies man what his thoughts were regarding receiving nude photos from women. I was surprised he agreed with me that it should be reserved for serious relationships. There’s just so much that can go wrong when your photos are in the hands of the wrong guy. He added that he can’t help but instantly categorize those girls in the “just for fun” group and definitely not wifey material. As much as guys love seeing your sexy side later on, they like to get to know the nice girl first. Basically, show them the lady in the streets before the freak in the sheets.

Be aware of the repercussions. As the famous saying goes, “There is a fine line between love and hate.” A change of heart can sometimes breed contempt. Just because you decide to get rid of the jerk doesn’t mean there’s a delete button for your digital footprints. Naked photos are the ultimate blackmail. There are disgusting websites solely dedicated to scorned exes exposing girls’ private photos. Maybe I’ve watched too many Dateline NBC specials but your X-rated “selfies” can literally ruin your life. Yeah, that dramatic!

Right Timing. Besides waiting for the right time in a relationship to send implied pictures, you also want to be cautious of the actual time in the day you send these. Avoid sending during the recipient’s work or social hours. Cell phones are carelessly left around the office or forgotten at the bar during happy hour.

The No Face Rule. If you insist on snapping risqué shots of your hot bod, consider making sure it’s not easily identifiable—neck down.

Mild Sexting is A-OK. There’s a happy medium between prude and vulgar. You can send a sultry eyed snapshot without exposing the goods to keep your new guy wanting more.

The Will & Jada Way. One of my favorite moments on The Oprah Winfrey Show was when Jada Pinkett and Will Smith said the secret to keeping their marriage hot is sending sexy photos to each other. Some married couple are so hush-hush about their sex lives so I loved that a highly admired power couple came out and said that’s what gets their blood flowin’. It’s completely normal to get caught up in daily routines with the house and the kids. But what better way to throw a fun curve ball than sending your hubby a little cell phone surprise?

Must Be 18 & Over. Last but not least, if you are not considered a consenting adult in California, you have no business sexting naked photos. Seriously. As much as you think your 16-year-old boyfriend loves you, he will most definitely share it with his buddies and is capable of doing even worse if or when you break up. My campaign: Kids, just say NO to sexting!

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The Bright Side To Being Single

27 Mar

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Everyone has that friend who doesn’t know the right thing to say when you’re down and out. My favorite panic-mode sympathy line is, “Well, look on the bright side….” Then, they proceed to tell you a bunch of lame reasons you should be happy in a shitty situation.

Well, this blog post is not going to be that. Sure, it’s a look-on-the-bright-side theme but it’s a list of actually awesome reasons why staying single in Los Angeles really IS something to be celebrated.

I turned to two of my best single girlfriends, Chanel and Rachel, for some input on why being a 20-something single girl is flirty and fabulous!

1. You didn’t settle. Be thankful you’re alone rather than being like your girlfriend who’s miserably with her broke, rude or cheating boyfriend who she can’t seem to break up with.

2. YOU TIME. Your weekends aren’t shared with anyone unless you want them to be. You can pick and choose when you want to be around your friends, go on a date, or just take a bubble bath at home on a Friday night. No obligations.

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3. You learn independence. All women, single and taken, need to learn how to fend for themselves.

4. Ladies Night! Being single gives you ample time to spend with the people who understand you the most, your girls. When you have a boyfriend, it’s inevitable to disappear a little in your little cloud of love. As a taken woman, my occasional girls’ nights are such a breath of fresh air. I love my relationship but there’s nothing like a little girl talk over a glass of wine.

5. You don’t have to shave your legs if you don’t feel like it (the best reason, in my opinion—by Rachel).

6. You save money. Having a boyfriend can get expensive on birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. Being single has you spending only on family, SOME friends, but mostly yourself.

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7. Guilt-free flirting. There’s something about not having anyone to report to. You can go out, talk to as many guys as your little heart desires and give out your number as many times as you want.

8. Nobody is judging you. I’d be lying to say I do whatever I want when I want while being in a relationship. My boyfriend gives me the evil eye when my weekly online shopping packages arrive. Whenever he comes around while I’m browsing the Hautelook iPhone app, I quickly press the button to the homepage and pretend I’m just checking my e-mails. This doesn’t happen when you’re single.

9.  You don’t have a mother-in-law.

10. You can do weird things with no one looking. Come on, girls, we all have strange rituals we like to keep to ourselves.  I purposely watch reruns of Full House while my boyfriend is at work. Shhh! #dontjudgeme

11. Your decision to go to a wild weekend in Vegas with the girls doesn’t start with, “Babe… I was wondering… if maybe… I could possibly…”

12. Giving your heart a break. The ups and down of romance are sometimes just too much to endure. Flying solo= no fights, no bickering, no heartbreak.

13. No one is counting your cocktails. During a night on the town you don’t have the constant whisper, “Is that your third Cosmo?”  You’re single and you’ll get shitfaced if you want to!

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14. It’s more fun to laugh at couples’ dramatic Facebook posts or Tweets when they’re fighting if you’re single. Oh, who am I kidding? It’s pretty entertaining regardless!

15. Finally, the most important upside to being single is learning to love yourself. I’m a firm believer that you can’t fully love someone until you truly love yourself; who you are, what you stand for, what you love to do and how you treat others. Self-love is something no man can ever fulfill.

So, while you wait for your knight in shining BMW, learn to appreciate all that single life has to offer. It’s pretty fun and fabulous!

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Foodie Fridays: Mind-blowing Munchies

12 Mar

Thanks to my blog host, WordPress, I’m able to track which of my posts are viewed the most, what countries my readers are from (shout-out to all you awesome foreign country readers), and what search terms are put into Google to find Live & Love in L.A. My favorite findings are the search terms; everything from your typical “why didn’t he call after our first date?” to “what to wear on a blind date” and “why guys are such assholes”—Yes, someone actually found my blog typing that in. However, the most views come from people searching “ideas for Los Angeles date night.”

So, I thought it was the perfect time for a Foodie Friday feature on the most mouth-watering bites I’ve had the pleasure of indulging in Los Angeles. I know it’s not Friday but give me a break! I’m in nursing school, bartend part-time, co-own a bar catering company, and blog my little heart out. I’m constantly a hot mess—but I try my best to post once a week. 🙂

Here are 3 must-try date night spots with mind-blowing munchies in Los Angeles:

1. Animal

435 N. Fairfax Ave.

Los Angeles, CA. 90048

323.782.9225

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Animal Restaurant is insane—in the best way possible. It’s a true nightmare for vegans but Heaven on Earth for us carnivores. The entire menu is dedicated to outrageously bizarre bites made from parts of animals most food amateurs would cringe at. My palate, on the other hand, is adventurous, to say the least. Whenever I visit the Philippines, my cousins constantly dare me to eat weird things like balut (fertilized duck embryo) and fried baby chick fetus on a stick… from shady streets carts… and I do it– happily. Animal is much more refined than a Filipino street cart but their cuisine style isn’t far off. You won’t be the same after sinking your teeth into their rich chicken liver toast or scraping out the marrow right off the bone and spreading it onto a perfectly crunchy buttered toast. After dining here you won’t even correlate bacon with pork anymore—instead, crunchy pig ears! Basically, you haven’t lived until you’ve eaten at Animal. My basic rule for good eating: try everything once.

2. Picca

9575 W. Pico Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA. 90035

310.277.0133

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This trendy Peruvian gem brings Los Angeles the best:

Antichuco -amazingly tender meat skewers

Causa -basically Peruvian sushi—picture delicate piles of spicy albacore on a bed of yellow mashed potato in perfectly bite-sized squares

Ceviche -everyone knows what ceviche is but Picca’s is with the high-quality halibut or seabass with sweet potatoes for that Peruvian twist

Choritos– last but certainly not least, the most incredible mussels dish I’ve ever had. Ever. Swimming in Amarillo butter.

I love that you can snack on comfort food with an upscale twist in a high-volume, sexy atmosphere. Everything from the eye-catching entrance to the wildly talented mixologists whipping up Pisco Sours behind the bar, Picca is sure to put the WOW factor into your dining experience. *If you’re really feeling brave, ask for the Avocado Project cocktail.*

3. CaCao Mexicatessen

1576 Colorado Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA. 90041

323.478.2791

I don’t want to be criticized for being “too bougie” and only suggesting fancier, pricey places. So if you’re on a budget but still want to impress a date with a restaurant selection, go straight to CaCao in Eagle Rock. It’s 1,000 times better than your typical Mexican cuisine and has “unique” written all over it! Under their “favorites” menu lays their famous duck confit and fried duck skin tacos which both are a must. Although, my #1 pick and what I will continue to come back for is the Elote de la Calle—corn on the cob covered in cotija cheese, drizzled with a light cream and finished with powdered chile. Thank you, food gods. Oh, and their drinks hold their own, too! Delicious Corona Micheladas rimmed with spicy chili salt and for a liquid dessert, Abuelita’s hot chocolate. YUM.

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