Archive | April, 2013

To Sext or Not To Sext

27 Apr

Dating in the digital era requires decoding hidden meanings behind vague text messages, confusing emoticons and pictures… naughty pictures. I knew sexting (sexy texting) was officially going viral when my favorite news show, ABC’s Nightline did a whole segment entitled “Selfie Nation”. Having instant cameras on our smart phones enables us to snap self portraits on any given good hair/feeling skinny/flawless face day. So, what do we do with these pictures? Well, if it’s a bit too much cleavage for your Instagram friends, you do the next best thing. Show it off to your special someone. We all do it because we like to feel sexy and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But controlling our photos’ circulation, now that’s a big deal.

We’ve all had those cringe worthy moments while showing a friend a picture on our iPhone and they continue swiping away left and right through your album. You try your best to politely snag your phone back before they see any X-rated photos of you or your partner—barely dodging that potentially incredibly embarrassing “Wanna get away?” moment.

Here a few tips to safe and SMART sexy texting.

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Know your audience. If you even have to question whether or not the recipient will show someone else, don’t do it.  Sexy photos should not be used as a tool to reel in the new guy you’re interested in. If you don’t know and trust him 100%, step away from the cell phone. My boyfriend and I were watching TV when a group text message came up from his buddy showing all their friends a picture of a girl… and let’s just say, I’m sure she didn’t want it leaked. This shit really happens. #dirtbag

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Boyfriends and Husbands Only. I asked my guy friend who is a total ladies man what his thoughts were regarding receiving nude photos from women. I was surprised he agreed with me that it should be reserved for serious relationships. There’s just so much that can go wrong when your photos are in the hands of the wrong guy. He added that he can’t help but instantly categorize those girls in the “just for fun” group and definitely not wifey material. As much as guys love seeing your sexy side later on, they like to get to know the nice girl first. Basically, show them the lady in the streets before the freak in the sheets.

Be aware of the repercussions. As the famous saying goes, “There is a fine line between love and hate.” A change of heart can sometimes breed contempt. Just because you decide to get rid of the jerk doesn’t mean there’s a delete button for your digital footprints. Naked photos are the ultimate blackmail. There are disgusting websites solely dedicated to scorned exes exposing girls’ private photos. Maybe I’ve watched too many Dateline NBC specials but your X-rated “selfies” can literally ruin your life. Yeah, that dramatic!

Right Timing. Besides waiting for the right time in a relationship to send implied pictures, you also want to be cautious of the actual time in the day you send these. Avoid sending during the recipient’s work or social hours. Cell phones are carelessly left around the office or forgotten at the bar during happy hour.

The No Face Rule. If you insist on snapping risqué shots of your hot bod, consider making sure it’s not easily identifiable—neck down.

Mild Sexting is A-OK. There’s a happy medium between prude and vulgar. You can send a sultry eyed snapshot without exposing the goods to keep your new guy wanting more.

The Will & Jada Way. One of my favorite moments on The Oprah Winfrey Show was when Jada Pinkett and Will Smith said the secret to keeping their marriage hot is sending sexy photos to each other. Some married couple are so hush-hush about their sex lives so I loved that a highly admired power couple came out and said that’s what gets their blood flowin’. It’s completely normal to get caught up in daily routines with the house and the kids. But what better way to throw a fun curve ball than sending your hubby a little cell phone surprise?

Must Be 18 & Over. Last but not least, if you are not considered a consenting adult in California, you have no business sexting naked photos. Seriously. As much as you think your 16-year-old boyfriend loves you, he will most definitely share it with his buddies and is capable of doing even worse if or when you break up. My campaign: Kids, just say NO to sexting!

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photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomkershaw/5388524011/”>Tom Kershaw</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/gatom0g/3487475427/”>gatom0g</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

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The Wedding Date

15 Apr

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I had the privilege of being a “plus one” to an intimate Los Angeles ranch wedding last night. The early evening lighting was picture perfect, the deep love of a beautiful bride & groom in the air, and the drinks were flowing with a handsome man by my side— how much better can a date night get?

I was inspired to write this post because I’ve attended many weddings in this city as the wedding date. Being asked by your guy to accompany him to a friend or family member’s wedding is kind of a big deal. Most bachelors who are casually dating without a special someone would rather go stag and scope out the cute bridesmaids. The commitment-phobia guys are the number one offenders of dateless weddings. They like to avoid taking girls to weddings because all single girls—yes, all—are inevitably fantasizing of their own dream wedding to come. There’s nothing scarier to a label-fearing guy than the girl he’s sleeping with suddenly struck with wedding fever!

So, here are a few wedding etiquette tips to help you get ready to attend as your man’s special lady and +1.

 

DO show enthusiasm and appreciation for the invitation from your guy in a newer relationship. Inviting someone to a wedding during the early stages of a relationship takes a bit of courage.

DON’T leave him hanging. A wedding is an event with a required RSVP for a reason, not just for him but for the marrying couple. Being a no-show to a price-per-plate dinner is tacky.

DO help him pick out the wedding gift. Most guys need a little direction when navigating through Crate & Barrel’s gift registry. And yes, always shop specific to the registry.

DO have fun getting ready together. Weddings are like proms for adults. It’s just so much fun to get your hair done, finally wear the special occasion dress hanging in your closet, and maybe put together a subtle match of colors with your date.

My wedding date and I decided to make a fun day of getting ready! First, I had to take him to one of my favorite stylists to tame his mane.

My wedding date and I decided to make a fun day of getting ready! First, I had to take him to one of my favorite stylists to tame his mane.

Then we had a nice, quiet lunch at the delicious Italian eatery, Mi Piace in Pasadena. We even caught a magic show on the sidewalk afterwards!

Then we had a nice, quiet lunch at the delicious Italian eatery, Mi Piace in Pasadena. We even caught a magic show on the sidewalk afterwards!

...And we're off!

…And we’re off!

DON’T wear a white dress. This one’s a no-brainer. I hesitate to even wear beige. White is for the bride ONLY.

DO wear waterproof mascara. Watching couples exchange nuptials gets me every time.

DON’T overdo it. Dress for a wedding as if you were having dinner with Oprah. You don’t want his friends whispering about your cleavage—think flowy and sweet. Modest dress + statement necklace= golden.

DO come prepared to answer the “Are you guys next?” question. When you get to a certain age and have been together for enough time, people are naturally curious when you’ll take the next step. Keep your responses brief, optimistic, and light-hearted. Now is not the time to pour your heart out and tell guests how long you’ve been waiting for him to pop the damn question already!

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DO bring cash to tip the bartender! Many weddings have an open bar with complimentary drinks but make sure you’re carrying enough change to take care of your server.

DON’T get wasted if you’re the plus one and you’re not too familiar with his group of friends yet. Save yourself and your date the embarrassment.

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DO become familiar with formal place settings prior to the wedding. The trick to all those utensils? Work from the outside inward. And your bread plate is always to your left. Also, holding your fancy glass from the stem is considered the proper way to drink.

DO mingle with strangers at your assigned dinner table. You want your date to be confident in choosing a social, friendly gal as his date.

DON’T worry about that weird superstition where it’s bad luck to say, “Best wishes” to the groom and “Congratulations” to the bride. Showing happiness and well wishes is always appreciated– no matter how it’s said.

CHEESE!

CHEESE!

DO take lots of photos. I grew up in a family where home videos and family photos are cherished. Life is not only too short but too beautiful to not capture.

DO enjoy being in the presence of true love.

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THANK YOU READERS FOR HELPING LIVE AND LOVE IN L.A. REACH OVER 5,300 VIEWS! I’M SO HAPPY TO KNOW YOU LOVE “LOVE” AS MUCH AS I DO! KEEP THE REQUESTS COMING!

LOVE, JOYCE