To Sext or Not To Sext

27 Apr

Dating in the digital era requires decoding hidden meanings behind vague text messages, confusing emoticons and pictures… naughty pictures. I knew sexting (sexy texting) was officially going viral when my favorite news show, ABC’s Nightline did a whole segment entitled “Selfie Nation”. Having instant cameras on our smart phones enables us to snap self portraits on any given good hair/feeling skinny/flawless face day. So, what do we do with these pictures? Well, if it’s a bit too much cleavage for your Instagram friends, you do the next best thing. Show it off to your special someone. We all do it because we like to feel sexy and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But controlling our photos’ circulation, now that’s a big deal.

We’ve all had those cringe worthy moments while showing a friend a picture on our iPhone and they continue swiping away left and right through your album. You try your best to politely snag your phone back before they see any X-rated photos of you or your partner—barely dodging that potentially incredibly embarrassing “Wanna get away?” moment.

Here a few tips to safe and SMART sexy texting.

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Know your audience. If you even have to question whether or not the recipient will show someone else, don’t do it.  Sexy photos should not be used as a tool to reel in the new guy you’re interested in. If you don’t know and trust him 100%, step away from the cell phone. My boyfriend and I were watching TV when a group text message came up from his buddy showing all their friends a picture of a girl… and let’s just say, I’m sure she didn’t want it leaked. This shit really happens. #dirtbag

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Boyfriends and Husbands Only. I asked my guy friend who is a total ladies man what his thoughts were regarding receiving nude photos from women. I was surprised he agreed with me that it should be reserved for serious relationships. There’s just so much that can go wrong when your photos are in the hands of the wrong guy. He added that he can’t help but instantly categorize those girls in the “just for fun” group and definitely not wifey material. As much as guys love seeing your sexy side later on, they like to get to know the nice girl first. Basically, show them the lady in the streets before the freak in the sheets.

Be aware of the repercussions. As the famous saying goes, “There is a fine line between love and hate.” A change of heart can sometimes breed contempt. Just because you decide to get rid of the jerk doesn’t mean there’s a delete button for your digital footprints. Naked photos are the ultimate blackmail. There are disgusting websites solely dedicated to scorned exes exposing girls’ private photos. Maybe I’ve watched too many Dateline NBC specials but your X-rated “selfies” can literally ruin your life. Yeah, that dramatic!

Right Timing. Besides waiting for the right time in a relationship to send implied pictures, you also want to be cautious of the actual time in the day you send these. Avoid sending during the recipient’s work or social hours. Cell phones are carelessly left around the office or forgotten at the bar during happy hour.

The No Face Rule. If you insist on snapping risqué shots of your hot bod, consider making sure it’s not easily identifiable—neck down.

Mild Sexting is A-OK. There’s a happy medium between prude and vulgar. You can send a sultry eyed snapshot without exposing the goods to keep your new guy wanting more.

The Will & Jada Way. One of my favorite moments on The Oprah Winfrey Show was when Jada Pinkett and Will Smith said the secret to keeping their marriage hot is sending sexy photos to each other. Some married couple are so hush-hush about their sex lives so I loved that a highly admired power couple came out and said that’s what gets their blood flowin’. It’s completely normal to get caught up in daily routines with the house and the kids. But what better way to throw a fun curve ball than sending your hubby a little cell phone surprise?

Must Be 18 & Over. Last but not least, if you are not considered a consenting adult in California, you have no business sexting naked photos. Seriously. As much as you think your 16-year-old boyfriend loves you, he will most definitely share it with his buddies and is capable of doing even worse if or when you break up. My campaign: Kids, just say NO to sexting!

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photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomkershaw/5388524011/”>Tom Kershaw</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/gatom0g/3487475427/”>gatom0g</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

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One Response to “To Sext or Not To Sext”

  1. Guru of Online Dating May 8, 2013 at 12:32 am #

    What Your Profile Picture Says About You…

    Let’s face it, attraction is important. The reason you put up a picture in the first place is to “attract” someone to your profile. Those daters that don’t post a picture are sending out some very counter-productive vibes. No picture usually means the person can’t work a camera, or worse, they have something to hide. Craig’s List is swamped with posters posting messages without a picture, because they know they’re hiding something. Don’t do that on a real dating site. Especially one you’re paying for. More often than not, not having a profile picture can also signify you’re already in a relationship and/or married, looking for something on the side. I’ve, unfortunately, met my fair share of women who claim they’re “divorced” but actually only “separated” and they still live in the same house as their “ex”.

    My biggest beef with people’s profiles is that they upload their four or five “favorite” pictures from a decade ago. Relationships are based on a foundation of trust. If you show up on that initial “meet and greet” looking nothing like your profile pictures, that trust is gone before it can even begin. It’s common knowledge that people fudge a little here and a little there…women usually subtract 5 years from their age while men routinely add 3 inches to their height. But once you finally meet the person you’ve been emailing and texting and chatting with on the phone, and they look nothing like their pictures, you feel cheated and bamboozled. Not a great start.

    Most of us would rather see what you look like running an errand today rather than what you looked like that night you dressed up with friends and snapped a picture at that perfect angle five years ago. That’s not being shallow; that’s being a realist.

    The Guru of Online Dating

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