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Heart Day Hangover: For The Single & Taken Girls

17 Feb

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Valentine’s Day can mean different things to different people. You either love it or hate it, and chances are these feelings are directly proportionate to your positive or negative perception– and NOT your current relationship status, as most would assume.

I am so excited to introduce to you loyal readers someone I consider a dear friend and fellow blogger, Rachel! Words can’t express how positive, confident and resilient she is. Her weekly happy mantras on her health & fitness blog, http://www.TheLoveFitLife.com, keep me going when I’m having a downer of a day. I know you’ll enjoy her healthy eating and workout tips just as much as her SINGLE GIRL perspective on Valentine’s Day.

This week’s post gives you the best of both worlds of being single or taken during this high-pressure, love-obsessed holiday. We hope you can relate to one of us and just know you’re not alone. After all, that is what my blog’s ultimate goal is. Us women need a place to laugh, cry, or simply feel relief that we’re not the only ones going through this roller coaster world of dating in L.A.

So, without further ado, The Heart Day Hangover…..

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JOYCE (the happily taken):

Valentine’s Day is the typical Hallmark holiday that becomes solely about gift-giving and wallet-emptying. But what is the real meaning? Love– all different types of love.

It’s technically a celebration of the early Christian Saint Valentinus who continued to perform weddings even after marriage was forbidden under the Roman Empire. Due to this story and what society has blown it up to be, most people view this day exclusively for romantic couples. However, I see Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to remind all the people you hold close to your heart that they are loved. Sure, I hear the bitter remark, “you should show your boyfriend you love him everyday”—and I do! I show him, my friends and my family that I love them all the time but who can really get enough love affirmations? Does anyone ever get tired of hearing how loved they are?

My boyfriend, Nathan, and I have lived together for several months now and things couldn’t be better. We’re one of those couples that are still in anticipation of the other coming home. I look forward to waking up to him every morning, writing love notes in his lunch bag almost every day, and feeling safe as he is the last thing I see before I fall asleep every night. I know, we’re one of those couples that make people nauseous. Although, as you’ve read in my previous posts… I wasn’t always this lucky. I’ve had to kiss one too many toads to find my prince. So Valentine’s Day is a fine day to tell him how grateful I am to have him but also to remind myself of the journey it took to find him. The importance of pausing from my busy life to do something out-of-the-ordinary for someone who has touched my life the way Nate has is essential and something he very much deserves.

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We so often take for granted when special people come into our lives. After months and years of seeing the same face and getting into a routine, it’s difficult to realize that everything is temporary in this lifetime. It’s also even more amazing to think some people go their entire lives not finding true love. Therefore, it is important that in this precious life, we are reminded not only on this holiday but every day that you can’t say those three little words enough. So, whether it be a sweet note on the bathroom mirror, a bouquet of long-stem roses or putting on extremely uncomfortable lingerie that gives you a constant wedgie (I mean, I’m not speaking from personal experience, of course…hehe), do what you can to make your special someone’s heart skip a beat.

Furthermore, Valentine’s Day wasn’t only a special day for Nathan and I but it was also a fun-filled day for my family and friends. I put together a surprise lunch at my house for my family and my puppy while the boyfriend was at work, I sent out cards to my girlfriends and their kids, then Nate and I went on a dinner date to Ink Restaurant on Melrose Ave. with two of our closest friends and even met the owner/chef Michael Voltaggio (as seen on the reality TV show, Top Chef).

Valentine' Day isn't just romantic love. Here's a peek of a surprise luncheon I put together for my family at my house

Valentine’s Day isn’t just about romantic love. Here’s a peek of a surprise luncheon I put together for my family at my house.

Dining at Ink Restaurant in Los Angeles

Dining at Ink Restaurant in Los Angeles

Chef Michael Voltaggio of Ink Restaurant in Los Angeles

Chef Michael Voltaggio of Ink Restaurant in Los Angeles

Post-dinner shot outside of Ink Restaurant in Los Angeles

Post-dinner shot outside of Ink Restaurant in Los Angeles

Whether you’re taken or single, V-Day can simply be an excuse to get out of your daily routine to stop and tell people, “I love you and I appreciate all you do.” Think outside the box—a father is really the main man in a girl’s life, a mentor is someone who would love to be thanked, a co-worker who is stressed out might really need to read in a cheesy card that they are special. Make Valentine’s Day a day of uplifting the people you love most—taken or not.

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RACHEL (the blissfully single):

I find it so fascinating that Valentine’s Day is such a heated subject. It’s one of those abstract days, probably created by some marketing genius that takes over the town and consumes everyone in its path. Even the people doing nothing special on Valentine’s Day will make sure others know that Valentine’s Day is no big deal and it’s just another day. My favorite example of this phenomenon this year was, of course, my ex boyfriend (how fitting) and longtime friend (yes, we’re really still friends) Thomas Teasley’s Facebook check-in at L.A. Fitness that read “Everybody is like it’s valentines day. I’m like it’s arms and cardio day.” Literally laughed out loud…. Thank you, Tommy and proud of you for getting fit when most were going the fat route 🙂

Satisfied

Every year when this stressful week approaches and the infamous day arrives, there seems to be a general consensus that women love it, men hate it, people in relationships must celebrate it and the singles hate life and are jealous of it. Fuck that consensus.

I’m a woman and until last year, I hated it…
I was in a long term relationship and didn’t really celebrate it…
I’m single now, loving life and enjoying Valentine’s Day more than I ever have before!

The Love Shop

So, here we are. My 2nd Valentine’s Day single has been successfully completed and I’ve decided it’s my preference…. for the time being at least. Last year, for my 1st single V-Day, I gave myself everything I wanted, which my ex argued year after year was a sell out and refused to take part in since he “showed me his love everyday” (I always fall for a man that makes me laugh). I ate a wonderful dinner, bought myself roses, put on sexy lingerie that I felt smoking hot in, lit some candles, sipped wine while cuddling up to watch a movie and munch on chocolate. No stress, no sadness, no secretly wishing a man had stepped up and swept me off my feet. It…. was…. FANTASTIC!  This year, for my 2nd single V-Day, I embraced the opportunity that a day like this presents… Celebrating the power of love by loving yourself, loving the people you care about, remembering the incredible love you’ve had in the past and smiling. I sent some nice text messages to past loves who crossed my mind, ate an entire (small) box of Godiva chocolates (of course), went to a great lunch with all my co-workers, hit the town to catch up with some friends and went to bed early thinking about how happy I am to be me – right here, right now.

Not everyone allows Valentine’s Day to be an organic expression of love though. It seems that many make it into a complicated puzzle that’s impossible to solve. I know men often feel like there’s so much pressure to perform, but ultimately, it’s just about showing someone they’re special and loved (and sorry but most people DON’T actually do that on a regular basis, so yea you should probably jump on the bandwagon and use this day to your advantage). Yes, most women want and would LOVE flowers…. even poor cheapskates can buy $7-12 flower bouquets at Trader Joe’s. Yes, most women want to connect in some way…. even if it’s just talking over dinner and being held tightly. Yes, all women and all people in general want to know that others care about them…. period. How you choose to express that doesn’t have to cost a fortune and doesn’t have to be a picture perfect romance scene out of a chick flick movie (although those options are welcome). Be creative, be yourself and never be afraid to say…

I LOVE YOU.

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photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/fl4y/3494539730/”>GloriaGarcía</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/aussiegall/6719529743/”>aussiegall</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/amanky/388870092/”>amanky</a&gt; via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;

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