One thing many women struggle with while on a first date is being able to tell if the date is going well. We obviously can’t read our date’s mind (although that would be awesome) so we are forced to draw our own conclusions based on some subtle hints. It’s especially important to pick up on the not-so-subtle giveaways that the date is heading downhill. These five red flags are indicators that your date is either an a**hole, he doesn’t believe in chivalry or he’s not really into you—regardless, don’t plan for a second date.
1. Shallow Hal
If your date only shows interest in bragging about himself— HIS job, HIS car, HIS hobbies, HIS penis (just kidding) then he’s a jerk. If your date does not show any interest in getting to know you—he’s a jerk. Need I say more? Yes? Okay. So if a guy really digs you, he wants to size you up. Guys love getting to know more about women for the same reason we want to know more about them—they want to make sure you’re fun enough, interesting enough, smart enough, and nice enough to visualize being in a relationship with you. So if your date is totally disinterested in your life and what you do, it’s most likely because he isn’t feeling a connection to you or only wants to sleep with you so he could care less about your favorite Saturday morning yoga class.
2. The Case of the Ex
Talking about past relationships is inevitable during a first date. Both parties want to know when your last relationship was, how long it lasted, and why it ended. Standard first date material. However, some unusual behavior and definitely a red flag is if a guy continuously brings up his ex-girlfriend… especially if you didn’t ask. Example: “You should get a Grey Goose Cosmopolitan. My ex, Ashley, drank those all the time.” This could be a sign that he’s not over the relationship or he has word vomit—either way, it’s weird.
3. No Future Plans
If your date doesn’t mention any plans to see you again or ask when your second date will be, it’s not a good sign. This isn’t the end-all of the relationship but if a guy likes you, he’ll usually casually mention some fun activity or great new restaurant you guys should try the next time you see each other.
4. Cheap Skate
Ladies, I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say this: YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PAYING ON YOUR FIRST DATE. I do not care what anyone says to defend the opposite, they’re wrong. A guy that lets you pay on a first date is a loser. Whether he can’t afford it or if he’s just socially incompetent, there’s just no excuse. I know I’ll get some heat for saying this but I stand by the fact that men should properly court a woman by paying for her with no hesitation on a FIRST DATE. It’s not for me to say who should pay on a regular basis after that, although girls who always pay for guys on dates are a phenomenon I’ll never understand, but men treating women on their first outing together is a principle of basic chivalry. If a guy does not pay the bill or has you “go dutch” with him and pay your half, he’s not only not into you but he’s a jerk! Now this doesn’t mean a girl should pick BOA Steakhouse and order a $75 Filet Mignon; be reasonable, girls! But if you’re reading this and thinking how shallow, you are in denial. Every girl, and I mean every single girl, wants to be treated to a nice first date. The girls who have paid for you before were settling and probably turned around and told their girlfriends how lame the date ended.
If your date is trying to cut the night short by rushing dinner or declining your offer to come in for a drink (which I don’t recommend doing), this COULD BE a sign he’s not feelin’ it. Yes, he could have work at 7am tomorrow but what guy do you know would turn down an opportunity to get a little cozy with you after dinner? My boyfriend wondered why I was rushing off after our first dinner and asked if I wanted to come to his house to “chit-chat” over a drink or two. Are you kidding me?! Everything about that sentence screamed SEX! Guys want sex. They love sex. They don’t care about a 3-date rule… heck, they don’t believe in a 3-hour rule! So, if your date wants nothing to do with a cocktail-filled you, let’s just say it’s not good.