The Secret to Great Sex

Isn’t this the question everyone really wants answered? There are so many factors that contribute to a great sexcapade (sexual escapade); the right guy, position, lighting, mood, etc. I find most of those things pretty easy to adjust—maybe not always finding the right romp partner but everything else is easily manipulated. The one secret to great sex that seems to be the hardest to achieve is…

FEELING SEXY IN YOUR SKIN!

Feeling good naked is what every woman wants but it’s nearly impossible to be completely satisfied with our bodies. Can you blame us?! We spend hours on end staring at the nipped-and-tucked Real Housewives of Orange County and Carl’s Jr. commercials that even have us girls checking out other girls! The reality is ALL women have imperfections and insecurities. Some of us just aren’t married to plastic surgeons who can suck us down after having babies and don’t have glam squads following us around everywhere we go—and that’s okay!

My definition of sexy isn’t overly skinny, collar bones protruding, wrinkle-free, stretch mark-free aliens. Our “beauty marks” are what makes us who we are. Moms need to be proud of their stretch marks because not every woman is blessed with the ability to bear children and I BET your husband doesn’t mind them one bit! Girls without rock-hard abs need to get over the constant tummy hiding because guess what? GUYS LIKE A LITTLE MEAT ON YOUR BONES. And no, I’m not just blowing sunshine up your a**, they really do!

If you’re still not convinced and still obsess over your body, then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. There’s nothing that bugs me more than Debbie Downers. Stop feeling sorry for yourself or thinking your body just isn’t able to lose that kind of weight. Want to know the real secret to losing weight? NO JUICE FAST. NO POWDER SHAKES. NO WATER/LEMON/CAYENNE CRAP—just eat clean and exercise more! Notice I did not say eat less. Even if you eat less junk, it’s still junk. Stop torturing yourselves trying to find the fastest crash diet that worked for your friend’s friend. There’s no easy way out. It takes hours at the gym, pushing yourself, and saying no to temptations.

Instead of reaching for that bagel & cream cheese, munch on my favorite breakfast: granola mix with diced apples and non-fat milk. Filling morning fuel.

I do not consider myself overweight whatsoever even though I have dramatic moments where I stupidly say out loud, “I feel so fat.” I realize most people want to slap me when I say that because no one likes to hear that from a “skinny” girl. Although, there really are times I feel disgusting and bloated. Contrary to what most people think, I’m not “naturally thin”. I actually effing hate when people say that because I truly have to put in effort to not let myself go. There have been times (my senior year in high school-ugh!) where I ate horribly, stopped exercising and looked and felt like crap. So I made a lifestyle change for myself—not for anyone else.

My new obsession is juicing! Great post-workout treat or even a dinner replacement if I cheated and had an enormous lunch. Follow “Juicing Vegetables” on Facebook. They have the best belly busting recipes.

I made the decision to stop making excuses. I wanted to put on any outfit and feel great—no muffin top after zipping up or hiding my arms. I needed to be able to strip down, stare at myself and love what I saw. Since then, I eat relatively clean and exercise regularly. Remember that looking good on the outside starts with what you’re putting inside your bodies. If you have to hire a personal fitness trainer, then do it. You owe it to yourself and your happiness. For a cheaper alternative, reach out to a friend who you know is a gym rat and consciously eats well. I’ve said it in previous posts that you are who your friends are. If you’re constantly around people who make poor eating and exercising choices, you will, too! And hey, one of the BEST places to meet young, fit, active men is the gym!

An easy, nutritious dinner that’s a hit in our house: asparagus & cheese stuffed chicken and loads of broccoli on the side. Yes, brussels and broccoli can be delicious when prepared right!

My girlfriends and I make it a girls night at “booty camp” classes at our gym so we’re able to hold each other accountable if we don’t show up. My boyfriend and I make it a part of our almost-daily routine to go to the gym together after work. Don’t give yourself the option of not going, just do it as if it’s an errand you have to run every day!

So, in comes the sex aspect. Feeling sexy in your skin means you’ll start to feel free to be a tiger in the bedroom. You won’t feel the need to object to an awkward position your guy is putting you in thinking “that can’t be a good angle for me”. Guys really get the strangest ideas and I’m almost positive it’s because they’ve seen it done in a porno (besides the point) but if you know you look good from all angles—so what! Be adventurous knowing you look good no matter what. No sucking in necessary. There’s nothing more attractive in a women than confidence– especially in the bedroom. There’s a reason the saying goes, “I want a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets.”

If you feel sexy, you won’t care that your man likes to get his freak on in the middle of the day or just has a weird preference with doing it with the lights on. Take care of your body and you won’t have to only hear about naughty romps in “Fifty Shades of Grey”, you’ll be the star in your own erotic novel.

Tying this subject into having great sex was my attempt in getting your attention, girls. The real take-home message is to just start loving yourselves. We are our own worst critics and not only are our sex lives being affected, but also our self-love. So get healthy and start living—in the bedroom and out!

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/somecat/3215346231/“>^ somecat ^</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/madanelu/2775220104/“>::: M @ X :::</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>