Whenever I visit my old room at my parents’ house I rummage through my bedroom drawers to take more and more clothes over to my new home with my boyfriend, Nathan. This afternoon, I came across my bottom drawer which I like to call “the ex boyfriend drawer”. I think a lot of girls have the same weird private collection of old memories from past relationships including pictures, birthday cards, concert tickets and movie stubs. Why do I keep all these things to remind myself of failure and heartbreak? I have no idea. But it’s just there… and has been for years.
I believe a part of me wanted to hold on to these things to remind myself of the good times with my exes. After a constant pattern of break-ups, I thought my dating life would always be tumultuous and unpredictable so why not hold on to the happy moments I once shared with these guys? It wasn’t until I met my current boyfriend that I felt I found someone worth throwing my past away– literally and figuratively. Well, except the jewelry.
I still don’t know what to do with these nice rings/bracelets/necklaces as I would never wear them again—Can you imagine how my boyfriend would feel about me sporting a diamond promise ring from an ex?! But they do hold value and it would be foolish to just toss it out! I’m torn between keeping it for my future daughters to play with and selling them online on http://www.ExBoyfriendJewelry.com. I got a big kick out of watching a news segment on ABC’s Nightline which featured online websites dedicated for girls to sell jewelry from their exes. Genius idea!
It took me having to find someone I couldn’t even dream up to let go of my past. I can’t even say Nate is the man of my dreams because after years of dating in Los Angeles, I couldn’t imagine that guys like him (honest, loyal AND kind) even existed. Our relationship is not perfect by any means but I am able to speak so highly of him in my blog because of what being with him has taught me; that I deserve the best. Not only being treated the best by a man but treating myself with high regard. He inspired me to confront the fears and insecurities that resulted from failed relationships in order to be emancipated from the burden of always expecting the worst from men. Before I made the decision to let it all go, I was a prisoner of my past.
My only regret is that I did not realize this sooner and on my own. I allowed myself to not only hold on to physical things but the emotional pain from my past. Although I’m glad it finally happened, I wish it didn’t take me having to find a great guy to realize my worth. My hope for my readers, single and taken, is that this post gives you the courage to throw it all away, the emotional and physical baggage in your ex boyfriend drawer— except the jewelry! 😉
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/jdickert/2372131488/”>ilovebutter</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a>
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/skarpetka_/3321961367/”>skarpetka86</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>