Sex with an Ex

16 Dec
photo credit: jumer via photopin cc

photo credit: jumer via photopin cc

I’ve been trying to put off directly writing about sex since I have younger cousins reading Live & Love in L.A. but what would a dating & relationships blog be without that little three letter word? Boring.

Let’s face it. Dating isn’t just about wearing the right outfit on the first date and finding the man of your dreams– sometimes dating just leads to sex; the good, the even better, the bad and the ugly.

However, one kind of sex I do not recommend is SEX WITH AN EX. Some women become lonely and vulnerable when they’re single, whether they like to admit it or not. Sometimes the loneliness is even subconscious and we just happen to find ourselves typing this late night text to our ex-boyfriends, “Hey you. What are you doing?” We find comfort in the attention we know our exes are guaranteed to give us but when the innocent texting turns into steamy sexting, that leads to meeting up for a midnight rendezvous… there enters the problem.

photo credit: Jo Dasson via photopin cc

photo credit: Jo Dasson via photopin cc

If the sex is great and you rekindle the spark you once shared– you just had SEX WITH AN EX. This means that you have now taken steps back from moving on from the relationship and there was probably a good reason you two broke up in the first place.

If the bumpin’ and grindin’ was lame and slightly awkward—you just had SEX WITH AN EX. Now you feel stupid for being so desperate. Were you the one who originally dumped him? Now you have to go through being the jerk to break it off with him AGAIN. Even if you’re the one calling it off, hurting someone is never easy—unless you’re a heartless b****. Were you the one who got the boot from him before? Now you get to feel the rejection all over again? Oh, joy.

I have a girlfriend who is one of those girls who has been trying to recover from a tough break-up for almost a year now. She thought her ex was “the one” and still struggles with imagining life after him. He’s not exactly helping the situation by sporadically coming in and out of her life as he pleases. Even with just one phone call she falls head over heels back in love with him and holds out hope for a reconnection. This type of girl should especially steer clear from having sex with her ex. We women naturally become attached when we share our bodies with someone.

As sexually active as our generation is today, there is something to be said about regarding your body as your temple. Don’t worry, this isn’t the part where I go all Catholic schoolgirl on you and make you feel guilty for engaging in casual sex. I’m just saying, along with protecting your feelings, protect your body.

I have to admit I eavesdrop on customers’ conversations when I’m bartending,and I gotta say, way too many girls these days are so blasé about sleeping around. I know I’m a dating/relationships blogger (which kind of makes me a sex blogger, as much as I don’t like that title) but let’s get our priorities straight here—the single most important advice I can offer women is not how to find Mr. Right (that’s the SECOND thing), it’s how to respect and love yourself on your journey to him.

Be selective of who you let in—emotionally and physically. Ex- boyfriend or not.

AN EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF TALK I HEAR TOO OFTEN… DO YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THE “WISE” WORDS OF AMY WINEHOUSE? I THINK NOT.

photo credit: id-iom via photopin cc

photo credit: id-iom via photopin cc

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10 Responses to “Sex with an Ex”

  1. candicepcendana January 11, 2013 at 6:38 pm #

    Thanks for this reminder. I did this a few times in December and now I thoroughly regret it. Hurting.. emotions are still raw. Love this blog, by the way xo

    • Joyce R. April 27, 2013 at 1:40 am #

      Great to hear you could relate to this post and you enjoy my blog. Hope to continue to keep you as a reader! Xo.

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    • Joyce R. April 27, 2013 at 1:39 am #

      I really appreciate your kind words and I’m so glad you enjoyed this post. Hope you continue reading Live & Love in LA. 🙂

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